… Splashes of RED, that was all ..
… A distant scream, nothing more ..
No one could have thought of a better end .. maybe because no one could have thought of SUCH an end .. but I knew it all along, and I was fully prepared ..
There was going to be another beginning ..
Another time .. another realm ..
With eyes wide shut I woke up from what I thought was a (short) nap .. but short naps don't give you this warm, chilly feeling of sweet satisfaction .. they're more likely to give you a nasty headache .. Especially that I remember something like falling from the 666th floor or was it just a rushing bullet into my head ?
Around me was all (pitch) black - night? I couldn't tell .. but little by little things started to gain some light … or was it my eyes gathering light from all around ? quickly I discovered the expression “THINGS” isn’t quite useful in this case .. there was absolutely NOTHING in that place .. all my eyes could see was fog .. a whole mass of that milky color .. above, under, right and left , endless mist of infinite nothingness ..
I tried to look around .. but I simply couldn’t remember what to do.. should I turn my head around ? I don’t know ..
I tried to get on my feet , but I simply couldn’t remember what to do.. should I just pick them up ? I don’t know either ..
I reversed to my hands and tried to touch my face .. but again I was clueless ..
Then I realized that I was not able to THINK of what to do in the first place .. I don’t know how I realized that .. but once I did the fog seemed lighter - just around me .. I felt lighter myself .. I was rising off the ground .. although I am not sure I was laying on any sort of ground to begin with ..
All the resistance didn’t help me out so I gave up and I let myself float .. Strangely enough , my peaceful action reflected on my inside as my fears started to disappear ‘til I felt so calm that, for a while, I was about to fall asleep (again?) .. but I forced myself not to …
and I floated .. and floated .. and floated ..
Suddenly I stopped .. i felt higher .. it was cold in there .. but the scenery was the same, I couldn’t see or feel any land under my feet .. all but this white (mist?) fog (smoke?) .. I couldn’t know .. I didn’t want to know .. all I wanted was to get the hell out of here and go where I am supposed to go, the true or even -cruel- world of lost souls .. I didn't care as long as there's something there instead of this suffocating bulk of white ...
But again, maybe this IS the place I’ve been looking for, maybe this IS the final destination, maybe this is where I am going to be for eternity .. and where are the others ? everyone else .. could it be I am the only one in here ? or do they give each one a “private suite” ? I laughed at the idea .. i laughed for a while, in my mind - because I couldn't (wouldn't) open my mouth (I didn't want any of the stuff to enter me. If I opened my mouth, it'll just come pouring in and fill me up like a stuffed toy and I'll explode and I'll be re-born in this hell-hole and I won't remember anything and I don't want to go through all this again Oh God I don't want to remember anything ..... ) before realizing that I’ve must gone crazy .. how did I realize that? (My mind was not attached to me anymore .. these ideas and thoughts come from somewhere else)
.. it’s not a dream .. it’s worse than any nightmare .. being all alone in that place could simply mean that .. I don’t know what it means .. I don’t know anything anymore .. I don’t belong to myself now .. I am a part of the whole .. I am one of the nothings in this God-forsaken place .. floating .. and waiting ..
