Part 1 : Renewing My Residence Permit
There's a man in the Public Relations (PR) Office at my University who helps me with official papers like renewing my annual residence permit. I gave him my passport and the documents needed in the end of December to handle them. He didn't apply right away because of the New Year's explosion in Alexandria and the turmoil that happened after. He called me on Thursday saying that the new rules now require I must go present my respectable self at the Immigration Department, and we agreed to meet Saturday (today) at 8:30 AM. I woke up today (well I can't say I woke up, I barely slept for an hour) got dressed, called him - he was already there and ran out. The door closed behind me as I went down the stairs. I took a taxi and got there in 5 minutes. We presented ourselves to the commanding officer who took one look at my papers and declined to renew the Visa, claiming that one sentence in the University statement is wrong. I won't get into much details here, because if you're Egyptian or you live in Egypt you know the bureaucracy here has no limits. So I swallowed my pride an went back to the University to change one little phrase of 10 words into 2 little phrases of 5 words each. YES! all what he wanted was to see this phrase of 5 words on a separate line so he can circle it.
At the University, in the department of Student Affairs, and after so much pleading, they changed the form and I got the 3 needed signatures. One particular woman, the middle of the command chain, was a total bitch. She wanted me to pay for the form all over again and almost changed the mind of her boss about making the change I needed. I ignored her and called that PR man who talked to the boss and convinced him of what should be done. After that I went to the office of the Dean of Student Affairs to get his signature. It was 10:30 AM. Naturally, he wasn't there. They told me to come at 12:30 noon. So I went out, bought a chocolate and a bottle of carbonated water, ate and drank while walking home. I arrived at my apartment only to find out my keys are not in my pockets. I was shocked. I never forgot my keys anywhere!! I was locked out. I knocked on the neighbors' door. The neighbor is my landlady's sister and owns half the building. Her husband is a very nice retired engineer. They said they didn't have a spare for my keys, but nevertheless they produced a huge pile of keys and we started trying them one by one. Finally one of the worked !! This apartment apparently first belonged to their mother and she left one of her keys with that huge pile. I was ecstatic and they told me "The Lord loves you." I was inside for not more than 5 minutes (enough to update my facebook status) when my phone rang and the PR office told me the Dean arrived if I wanted to meet him. I went back (this time double-checking my keys) and arrived there in 10 minutes. The Dean's office was a beehive. I never seen so many people coming in and out in my life. Papers, papers, and more papers being signed or rejected. I waited for 45 minutes. Finally I went in. The Dean was a very decent guy, but tough in the same time (??) and joked about me living illegaly. However, he refused to sign the new form (statement) claiming that it's written in a wrong way. He called in the head of the PR office, whom I know very well, and they discussed it for some time. Meanwhile there were loud noises outside and some guy was yelling and screaming. The Dean called him in and he was still yelling. He told him to lower his voice, to which he responded (I'm a resident doctor and my voice has a loud tone.) The Dean told him "you're a resident in your own home, not in my office. Respect yourself and other people especially that you're in my office" then he pointed at me and said "why can't you guys be like Lebanese people, polite and respectful even in the most stressful of times?" Anyway his problem was transportation (I really lost concentration.) Then the Dean told me to change the form (yet again) and the head of the PR office called the Student Affairs and told them to help me, so I went back, got it changed, got the 3 signatures again and went back to the Dean to sign it. It was already 13:30 (1:30PM) and the Immigration Department closes at 14:00. I took a cab, photocopied the new form, and presented myself to the Officer again. The clock was 13:48. I was sweaty, my hair was a mess, and he took pity on me. He signed my papers and I went to Window number 2 to give them the passport and documents. No one was to be found. I waited until 13:53 , and finally asked where is the person in charge. She was arguing with a French-Algerian couple, a bearded (Islamist) man and his Niqabi wife. They were objecting to her removing her Niqab in public so the Immigration people can recognize her face on the passport. After a few long minutes, she finally agreed. She lifted her Niqab and my first and only reaction was "wow. she is uglyyyyyy!!!" The man gave me a fiery look for looking at his wife's face, but I continued to stare. The woman in charge signed their papers and took mine, smiling, she said "did you know today was your last chance? If you came tomorrow you would have paid a $30 fine." I didn't know that, but I told her I did, and that I came in the morning but the Officer refused my papers. She signed my passport and told me to come back in a few days to finish processing my residence permit. I get another year. I left at 14:05 and called the PR office, thanking them for everything.
=
Part 2 : McDONALD's
Famished, sleepless and extremely tired, I walked for a couple minutes, and I found myself walking by McDonald's. I was thrilled to see them advertising a new item on the menu, the Mega-Mac, which is basically a double Big Mac, so it has 4 pieces of meat and 2 pieces of cheese. I'm not a McDonald's person as you know, but I wanted the Mega-Mac soooooo bad. I went in, and waited in line. The guy ahead of me was a huge teenager, who look just like that farm-boy, Thor, from Hannah Montana, only darker. He couldn't read the menu (I swear) and he was on a DATE! Granted, she was also a simpleton. The bulky teenager pointed at a picture (it turned out to be the McRoyale) , ordered two, and the cashier ripped him off by signaling the maxed-size combo. I ordered my Mega-Mac and went to sit down at a comfy table in the end of the place, when a 7-year old obese kid who was standing behind me in line broke free and came to me, saying "3ammo (Mister) this is OUR table." I looked at him, and he kept saying this is our table. I told him there are plenty of places, go sit anywhere you like. He continued to nag and I was about to get angry, when I looked up and saw his mother. She was very plump, and she looked like a country-woman as well. I wondered what the heck happened so McDonald's would be swarming with Falaheen and countryside people. Then I realized it must be something new to them on one of their rare visits to the city. Anyway, I continued to look at that obese woman, who had another obese woman with her other obese kid with her as well. I scanned the place, and registered that the 4 of them won't be able to squeeze into any of the empty tables, while mine was in the middle, spacious and comfy. I looked at the kid and then decided to move to one of the smaller tables. But before I moved, his mother came towards me, took the kid by the ear, and told me to stay. I told her I don't mind moving, and I like the kid's honesty. She said "he's my son, and he's bege7 (rude) , you stay where you are." I did, and they sat down at a table by the window. I finished and left McDonald's, heading towards the nearby Tram station.
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Part 3 : The Tramway. A Wave of Paranoia.
Before I got to the Tram, I passed by my favorite pharmacist, a beautiful young woman with amazing green eyes, and bought the usual lozenges, then, I cleared my throat and asked for condoms. She produced them silently. I went out only to find the Tram moving. I missed it by a few seconds. I regretted bullshitting that pharmacist.
I waited for 10 more minutes until the next Tram showed up. Two of them *numbers 1 and 2* I can take either one because my place is only 4 or 5 stations away. They go in their separate tracks waaaaaaay beyond that. I got on the first one, and saw a man handing another man a big black bag. I got paranoid and I saw a mental image of the bag, loaded with explosives, blowing up. I then saw myself in the hospital, lacking a limb or two, unable to talk to anyone I know because I lost my phone, and unable to remember the names of any of my friends or family. I felt a panic attack approaching so I totally freaked out and jumped out of the Tram into the other one, that was luckily starting to move.
I got home at 15:25.
I'm going to take a very well needed nap now. When I wake up, I hope I'll have enough energy to STUDY. There's less than a day and a half left before my first exam.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Monday, January 10, 2011
my old Yahoo! account RE-LIVES !!!
IM REALLY HAPPY RIGHT NOW :)
Four and a half years ago, during the 2006 Fifa World Cup in Germany, Yahoo! Answers had been just launched, and was heavily advertised on the Yahoo! World Cup page. I entered the World Cup category and starting discussing football, but people were very aggressive and shit (like fuck you Italians , no fuck you Englishmen , etc.) I , as a Portugal and Italy supporter at the time , got into the fights and started swearing at some people, but of course, I'm neither Italian nor Portuguese, so I let the patriotic nationalists take the heat and I continued to answer football questions in a more civilized manner.
But then I got bored, and starting clicking around the site ...
The most random category was Polls&Surveys (like it still is to this very day) so in a futile attempt to gain points and levels, I also went there, clicked random questions and, bored as I was, started answering really rudely to people, like "fuck you" and such. I didn't know you could get reported.
Needless to say, I was reported and banned. Not only that, my whole Yahoo! account (including the email address) was deleted. I was very sad because I loved that email address, it matched my hotmail address. I also lost all my Yahoo! Messenger contacts :( When I tried logging in, it told me "this account doesn't exist."
I tried to re-create that account more than once but it always told me "this email address is taken" although "it didn't exist." Over time I started to lose hope until I finally forgot about it.
But today, I tried to log on to my old LiveJournal account to look up an old friend (I remember she used to post her email address on her LJ account, and I want to get it and add her on facebook.) I haven't used LJ in almost 4 years and I forgot the password, so I tried to retrieve it by having it sent to my email, but then I remembered that the LJ account is linked to the non-existing Yahoo account. What a dilemma.
Anyway, long story short, I tried one more time, and I just was able to re-create that email address :) I think the Yahoo! people decided to finally free the address and it works just like it was never deleted (I just tried sending the LJ account password that I have linked to it and it worked) :) :) :) so now I have access to my old LJ account as well !!!
The sorrows and joys of technology !!!
Yuppie !!
Four and a half years ago, during the 2006 Fifa World Cup in Germany, Yahoo! Answers had been just launched, and was heavily advertised on the Yahoo! World Cup page. I entered the World Cup category and starting discussing football, but people were very aggressive and shit (like fuck you Italians , no fuck you Englishmen , etc.) I , as a Portugal and Italy supporter at the time , got into the fights and started swearing at some people, but of course, I'm neither Italian nor Portuguese, so I let the patriotic nationalists take the heat and I continued to answer football questions in a more civilized manner.
But then I got bored, and starting clicking around the site ...
The most random category was Polls&Surveys (like it still is to this very day) so in a futile attempt to gain points and levels, I also went there, clicked random questions and, bored as I was, started answering really rudely to people, like "fuck you" and such. I didn't know you could get reported.
Needless to say, I was reported and banned. Not only that, my whole Yahoo! account (including the email address) was deleted. I was very sad because I loved that email address, it matched my hotmail address. I also lost all my Yahoo! Messenger contacts :( When I tried logging in, it told me "this account doesn't exist."
I tried to re-create that account more than once but it always told me "this email address is taken" although "it didn't exist." Over time I started to lose hope until I finally forgot about it.
But today, I tried to log on to my old LiveJournal account to look up an old friend (I remember she used to post her email address on her LJ account, and I want to get it and add her on facebook.) I haven't used LJ in almost 4 years and I forgot the password, so I tried to retrieve it by having it sent to my email, but then I remembered that the LJ account is linked to the non-existing Yahoo account. What a dilemma.
Anyway, long story short, I tried one more time, and I just was able to re-create that email address :) I think the Yahoo! people decided to finally free the address and it works just like it was never deleted (I just tried sending the LJ account password that I have linked to it and it worked) :) :) :) so now I have access to my old LJ account as well !!!
The sorrows and joys of technology !!!
Yuppie !!
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Another Tramway Experience
The tram was moving and the ticket man (komsery) told me to get on quick; and he stood me next to him casually =) ok so the women's only carriage is just like women's only beaches. Most of the women there are those who don't want to be seen by men. Mostly old, neqabi and obese women. Normal young girls want costant men's attention,and the possibility of a suitor. Another thing is that some women dislike the women's carriage because when it's crowded, it's survival of the quickest. No male chivalry there or pleading him to stand and let her take his place.
They are also weird and they stare rudely.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Speaking A Foreign Language In Egypt
Yesterday I went to visit my friend who lives on the other side of Alexandria , about one hour drive from where I live. I took the microbus like usual. 5 minutes later a girl and a guy climbed in. They looked like any ordinary Egyptian couple. A short, veiled girl and a tall, tanned guy in a pullover. She was talking on the phone and that is also normal, as 99% of girls call their moms to tell them they're coming back home. They sat in front of me, I didn't pay much attention to them, but then I thought I heard the girl speaking a foreign language, switch back to Egyptian, then foreign again. I listened carefully and she was speaking French !! Yes, Egyptians study French in school as a third language, and there are thousands of French literature students in Egyptian Universities, but they all can not speak a word of French!!
She must be majoring in it in university, but the funny thing is, she was speaking it in a very heavy Egyptian accent. If you thought Egyptian English is funny, wait 'til you hear this one !!! I could barely make a word or two. Anyway, she kept talking for a really long time, about 30 minutes, and people were annoyed with her. She was loud, laughed in a disrespectful manner, and was obviously showing off. Her male companion just sat there looking out the window. He paid the fee and here is where his role ended. Well not quite, he also signaled the driver to stop when they wanted to get off. She stepped out, still yapping, hooked up to his arm and walked away. There were not a few insulting comments from the drivers and his passengers later.
She must be majoring in it in university, but the funny thing is, she was speaking it in a very heavy Egyptian accent. If you thought Egyptian English is funny, wait 'til you hear this one !!! I could barely make a word or two. Anyway, she kept talking for a really long time, about 30 minutes, and people were annoyed with her. She was loud, laughed in a disrespectful manner, and was obviously showing off. Her male companion just sat there looking out the window. He paid the fee and here is where his role ended. Well not quite, he also signaled the driver to stop when they wanted to get off. She stepped out, still yapping, hooked up to his arm and walked away. There were not a few insulting comments from the drivers and his passengers later.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Copied From A Friend I Admire : An Article That Really Says It All
By: Houda Awali
Do Muslims really believe they will go to heaven for killing innocent Christians and Jews? In Islam, killing a believer intentionally is clearly forbidden, as quoted from the Quran, “If a man kills a believer intentionally, his recompense is Hell, to abide therein (For ever): And the wrath and the curse of God are upon him, and a dreadful penalty is prepared for him” ("Quran" 4:93).
Mythical Infidel
Many would argue that the Muslims believe Christians and Jews are infidels. Yet the very word infidel is of Latin origin, used in 1400 b.c. by Christians to describe non Christians. specifically Muslims . The word was later used to describe non Christians such as Jews, but especially Muslims. “In 1095 Pope Urban II preached a sermon in in Clermont, France, urging Christians to undertake a pilgrimage to Jerusalem to rescue it from “infidel” Muslims and thereby achieve for themselves a place in paradise” . As a result of this, Christian hostilities were first directed at the nearest rejecters of Christianity, namely the Jews, who had for centuries lived in peace amongst them. Thousands of Jews were killed. The crusaders set out for the Holy Land, but they met strong resistance from the Muslims. Yet they still made it to Jerusalem in 1099. “Sacking the city, they slaughtered thousands of Muslim women, men and children” (Trible, and Russell 14).
Whereas in the Quran, Christians and Jews are described as “the People of the Book”, pronounced Ahel el Kitab in Arabic. The Quran clearly establishes tolerance towards “the People of the Book” i.e. Christians and Jews, “And do not dispute with the followers of the Book except by what is best, except those of them who act unjustly, and say: We believe in that which has been revealed to us and revealed to you, and our God and your God is One, and to Him do we submit” (Quran 29:46).
And there are, certainly, among the people of the Scripture (Jews and Christians), those who believe in God and in that which has been revealed to you, and in that which has been revealed to them, humbling themselves before God. They do not sell the Verses of God for a little price, for them is a reward with their Lord. Surely, God is Swift in account. (Quran 3:199).
There is also a clear distinction between Jews and Christians vs. non believers. The Arabic word kafir is used to describe a non believer or pagan in the Quran (non believer in the God of Abraham). Under Islamic law it is a punishable offense to use the word kafir against a Christian or a Jew. Clearly Jews and Christians are not classified as non believers in the Quran, thus the term “People of the Book” is used to describe them.“Verily! Those who believe and those who are Jews and Christians, and Sabians, whoever believes in God and the Last Day and do righteous good deeds shall have their reward with their Lord, on them shall be no fear, nor shall they grieve” ( Quran 2:62).
Do Muslims really believe they will go to heaven for killing innocent Christians and Jews? In Islam, killing a believer intentionally is clearly forbidden, as quoted from the Quran, “If a man kills a believer intentionally, his recompense is Hell, to abide therein (For ever): And the wrath and the curse of God are upon him, and a dreadful penalty is prepared for him” ("Quran" 4:93).
Mythical Infidel
Many would argue that the Muslims believe Christians and Jews are infidels. Yet the very word infidel is of Latin origin, used in 1400 b.c. by Christians to describe non Christians. specifically Muslims . The word was later used to describe non Christians such as Jews, but especially Muslims. “In 1095 Pope Urban II preached a sermon in in Clermont, France, urging Christians to undertake a pilgrimage to Jerusalem to rescue it from “infidel” Muslims and thereby achieve for themselves a place in paradise” . As a result of this, Christian hostilities were first directed at the nearest rejecters of Christianity, namely the Jews, who had for centuries lived in peace amongst them. Thousands of Jews were killed. The crusaders set out for the Holy Land, but they met strong resistance from the Muslims. Yet they still made it to Jerusalem in 1099. “Sacking the city, they slaughtered thousands of Muslim women, men and children” (Trible, and Russell 14).
Whereas in the Quran, Christians and Jews are described as “the People of the Book”, pronounced Ahel el Kitab in Arabic. The Quran clearly establishes tolerance towards “the People of the Book” i.e. Christians and Jews, “And do not dispute with the followers of the Book except by what is best, except those of them who act unjustly, and say: We believe in that which has been revealed to us and revealed to you, and our God and your God is One, and to Him do we submit” (Quran 29:46).
And there are, certainly, among the people of the Scripture (Jews and Christians), those who believe in God and in that which has been revealed to you, and in that which has been revealed to them, humbling themselves before God. They do not sell the Verses of God for a little price, for them is a reward with their Lord. Surely, God is Swift in account. (Quran 3:199).
There is also a clear distinction between Jews and Christians vs. non believers. The Arabic word kafir is used to describe a non believer or pagan in the Quran (non believer in the God of Abraham). Under Islamic law it is a punishable offense to use the word kafir against a Christian or a Jew. Clearly Jews and Christians are not classified as non believers in the Quran, thus the term “People of the Book” is used to describe them.“Verily! Those who believe and those who are Jews and Christians, and Sabians, whoever believes in God and the Last Day and do righteous good deeds shall have their reward with their Lord, on them shall be no fear, nor shall they grieve” ( Quran 2:62).
Monday, January 18, 2010
This Morning
I went to Western Union today at about 9 AM and got my money when it started raining so bad so I took a taxi and all I had in my pocket was 4 gneh in coins ... the trip usually takes 3 minutes maximum but we bumped slightly with another car because of all the sliding that usually happens after first rain, then we got stuck in traffic and he took a detour , and finally he won't go to the end of my street so I had to get off and take the tram for 2 stations ... I gave him 3 pounds which is rhe normal price and he wanted more and started screaming like an animal but I told him I didn't have more money and it's not my fault he can't drive - so he stepped out of the car, he is a giant of about 190 cm and was screaming but I just stood there waiting for him to try to make a move so I can bust his nuts I had a perfect deadlock grab on him, he had another customer - an old man who was trying to calm things down - but in the end I told him I ain't scared of u and u can do whatever u want - so he stepped back and I put the 3 pounds on the roof and ran and i caught the tram moving and left him yelling and screaming like a bitch ...
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Two Incidents In One Day
Incident #1
In the morning , I was sitting in class listening to powerpoint slide presentations my colleagues made. Then it was Mona's turn. Mona is a "Niqabi" which means she wears a Niqab, which is this thing : http://www.sepiamutiny.com/sepia/archives/Niqab-thumb.jpg
These women frankly annoy and provoke the hell out of me.
She started her presentation with the usual radicalist prayers and shahadas .. and opened the slideshow with a picture of a Mosque. Every few slides, there was a picture of a different mosque, which I thought was very irrelevant, especially that she was talking about polycystic kidney disease, not the story of how Islam was spread. There were also different animations on each page which made focusing really hard with ducks trying to jump out of the secreen and hearts crying or riding a bicycle. She ended with another chain of "doaa's" and thanked & praised Allah, the Almighty.
When the class was over and the last presentation shown (by the way, some of them had pictures of horses, others of sleeping babies, etc, which is very unprofessional in my opinion,) I approached her. I was a bit intimidated because I never spoke with a neqabi before. I asked her if I could transfer her presentation to my flash disk, and when it started I said "you know those images you added made the file size bigger so it'll be a bit slower ti transfer." She answered "bas mofedeen ya akh - they're helpful, brother" , to which I responded in my "Jean Luc" Lebanese dialect "enno la gurl ana ma asdy hole .. ana asdy holeeke sowar el jweme3 , enno come on man , ma 5asson bel mawdoo3,(i meant the mosque pictures)" her eyes ignited from behind that ninja thing she's wearing and said "Yageb ana nazkor Allah fee koll waqt ya akh (we should remember Allah at every time, brother" .. so i said "you know what, you didn't even include Al-Aqsa or the Prophet's Mosque in Madinah, how the heck will I focus on the presentation if all what I'm doing is looking at pictures of a mosque and trying to guess which one is it , 3asafra or sidi gaber , like in "man sayarba7 al malyoon?" and besides, in those short 10 minutes of your presentation, if I remember Allah i'll miss the important info you're providing" ...
The file finished transferring, I removed my flash disk and walked away ...
Incident #2
when I came back home, I called "Alex sporting club" to ask about tickets for the famous musician "Omar Khairat" who's performing there next Thursday. The man who answered was obviously chewing something in his mouth. I tried to ignore it and asked about the concert, and he said "gifjgfijobigie" .. I said "COME AGAIN" .. he said "Sold Out" in a very rude way like he's getting rid of me. I said "are you eating?" "YEAH I am" "this is no manners at all -
deh ellet adab - next time put your damn sandwich down before you answer the phone, because you are representing a respectable place and people will scorn this behavior" "hader ya basha, men ennaya" ... and I hung up ...
In the morning , I was sitting in class listening to powerpoint slide presentations my colleagues made. Then it was Mona's turn. Mona is a "Niqabi" which means she wears a Niqab, which is this thing : http://www.sepiamutiny.com/sepia/archives/Niqab-thumb.jpg
These women frankly annoy and provoke the hell out of me.
She started her presentation with the usual radicalist prayers and shahadas .. and opened the slideshow with a picture of a Mosque. Every few slides, there was a picture of a different mosque, which I thought was very irrelevant, especially that she was talking about polycystic kidney disease, not the story of how Islam was spread. There were also different animations on each page which made focusing really hard with ducks trying to jump out of the secreen and hearts crying or riding a bicycle. She ended with another chain of "doaa's" and thanked & praised Allah, the Almighty.
When the class was over and the last presentation shown (by the way, some of them had pictures of horses, others of sleeping babies, etc, which is very unprofessional in my opinion,) I approached her. I was a bit intimidated because I never spoke with a neqabi before. I asked her if I could transfer her presentation to my flash disk, and when it started I said "you know those images you added made the file size bigger so it'll be a bit slower ti transfer." She answered "bas mofedeen ya akh - they're helpful, brother" , to which I responded in my "Jean Luc" Lebanese dialect "enno la gurl ana ma asdy hole .. ana asdy holeeke sowar el jweme3 , enno come on man , ma 5asson bel mawdoo3,(i meant the mosque pictures)" her eyes ignited from behind that ninja thing she's wearing and said "Yageb ana nazkor Allah fee koll waqt ya akh (we should remember Allah at every time, brother" .. so i said "you know what, you didn't even include Al-Aqsa or the Prophet's Mosque in Madinah, how the heck will I focus on the presentation if all what I'm doing is looking at pictures of a mosque and trying to guess which one is it , 3asafra or sidi gaber , like in "man sayarba7 al malyoon?" and besides, in those short 10 minutes of your presentation, if I remember Allah i'll miss the important info you're providing" ...
The file finished transferring, I removed my flash disk and walked away ...
Incident #2
when I came back home, I called "Alex sporting club" to ask about tickets for the famous musician "Omar Khairat" who's performing there next Thursday. The man who answered was obviously chewing something in his mouth. I tried to ignore it and asked about the concert, and he said "gifjgfijobigie" .. I said "COME AGAIN" .. he said "Sold Out" in a very rude way like he's getting rid of me. I said "are you eating?" "YEAH I am" "this is no manners at all -
deh ellet adab - next time put your damn sandwich down before you answer the phone, because you are representing a respectable place and people will scorn this behavior" "hader ya basha, men ennaya" ... and I hung up ...
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